so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize