Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
