I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Randomize
