Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
