You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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