he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
