one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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