No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Ketchup is God's man juice
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
