Do you still have your period?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
