I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
