found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just want nice things and good sex
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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