you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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