dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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