fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
