maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
