When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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