So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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