Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
