oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
