...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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