I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
