i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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