Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
