hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize