She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
