Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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