I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
