Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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