She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
That reminds me...we need to get swords
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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