Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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