best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize