"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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