I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
