you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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