dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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