where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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