you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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