What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
