p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
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