and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize