i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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