You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize