Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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