I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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