i may or may not be watching the land before time
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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