you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
