too bad you live with your parents still
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
