DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
