ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
