She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
