..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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