Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
