I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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