Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
