If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
