Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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