Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
