This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
