i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
