I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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