is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
