Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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