He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
