Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
