I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
