What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize