I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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