woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
