If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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