he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
