you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize