This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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