He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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